Let's Talk: Illness and the rainbow through it all🌈!

Good morning/afternoon/evening, you beautiful people! 

I missed last week's upload, as I was ill and in bed. I had a chest infection and this is my second time having had pneumonia, since age 8. 

I missed 3 exams as a result and I was extremely frustrated with myself and my body, as it was not doing what I wanted it to do, when I wanted it do it!  Being forced by my body to rest and take it easy, became such a blessing to me. 

It allowed me to sit with  myself and reflect  on this year, and my mental health. You all know that I am such a huge mental health girlie but I was so focused on showing up, especially academically. I will literally drag myself and do what I need to do, regardless of how I feel in order to show up and be a reliable woman of my word. So being dizzy and in pain and bedridden was so hard for me. 

Once I took medication and my symptoms began to clear, I started to think about my fortitude. I truly believe that mental health and physical well-being are directly related. I last got pneumonia 16 years ago and I found it really hard to believe that I actually got sick because I was doing really well or so I wanted to believe. 

To be honest this year has been very challenging for me, while God has shown such goodness (y'all the testimonies that I have, one day we'll talk!! ) , there were things that I didn't address, things that I absolutely refused to iron out and it bothered me the entire year. I realized that the very thing that you run away from is still there. You cannot truly outrun, outsmart or ignore an issue. It will show up in some way and when you least expect and bother you and take you down. 

The rainbow for me was falling sick and having the grace and time to recover before my  final exams, this year's results are so important because I will use them to apply to university. 

I now have an opportunity to iron out the very thing that I believed I should wait until a more 'ideal' time to deal with. My advice to you, dear friends is to deal with whatever is bothering you before it deals with you. It won't be easy but you will thank yourself for it. 

I also learned about the value of rest. Resting is not lazy and napping is not for just reserved for babies and toddlers.

P.S. This is my second time writing this particular post because I accidently just deleted ALL my work and the sheer frustration of it all!! But this comes with the territory of being a creative. I have definitely learned my lesson, write and save, write and save! 

I truly hope that you enjoy today's blog post, it's the last post of the month and I hope and pray that the month of October will bring blessings to you all! As we close off Suicide Prevention month, I pray that you remember how valuable and valued you are. Your worth is innate and an illness and rough life does not define you or take away your value and worth in God's sight. 

Happy Heritage Day, my beloved South Africa 🇿🇦! 

All my love❤️

Ruthy 

Let's Talk: Suicide Prevention Month and the courage to live

Good morning/afternoon/evening, you beautiful people! 

About a year ago I wrote a blog post about suicide, in light of suicide prevention month on my Environmental and Political Issues Blog. I took that post down (among many others) because I just wasn't sure in which direction I wanted to go with that particular blog. Especially considering the fact that when one writes on Political matters or matters that are viewed as politically charged, thorough research must be conducted, so I became overwhelmed and I stopped writing. I reposted that particular blog post because as I was reflecting, I realized that I meant every word that I wrote. 

Suicide is a touchy subject, there is no light way to go about such a heavy topic. What I do know is that it is a necessary  conversation to have. Life can be overwhelming and many factors can contribute to you feeling this way. What I do want you to do is not to feel shame for feeling this way. 

As a black person and a Christian, I used to feel like I should be happy and never feel these overwhelming feelings. There was always this judgement that if things are rough for you as a Child of God, then are you God's child? For me, I see it as a Job story. He was God's Beloved, God personally bragged about him and yet so much calamity came to his home. I choose to believe that God is still in control and that He will indeed give me beauty for my ashes. 

The road may be hard, the nights long and pain feel undeserved but God is faithful. I firmly believe that life won't always feel this way. What I also do is journal, it's a great way to get all my feelings out and when I don't know what to write, I follow these journal prompts that I downloaded from Pinterest:

Remember that your trauma is still valid, even if it may seem small in comparison to others' suffering, even if you don't remember it well, even if you are not ready to talk about it yet. It's not always easy to unload trauma that you have tried so hard to lock away, but I believe that talking to the right professional can help. When you are ready to seek out help, please do so!  A problem shared with the right person is a problem solved. Also remember that there is nothing wrong with medication and receiving help through that channel, as long as it's authorized and you are not putting your health at risk. 

You have not yet experienced all the joy in your life, fulfilled all of God's promises and met all who will love you❤️!  Be strong and fight the good fight 💚.

Here's the link to blog post that I posted last year:

https://zikhalir.blogspot.com/2020/09/lets-talk-world-suicide-prevention.html?m=1

I pray that something I said whether this today or last year touched you. I personally can relate but know that feelings aren't always accurate and ending your precious existence is not the answer. You were born for a reason, God allowed to exist because He planned your existence. Give it time and slowly work on yourself and your surroundings. Hope is indeed, alive🌱! 

All my love 🌸

Ruthy

August Reflections

Good morning/afternoon/evening, you beautiful people!

The month of August has come to an end and spring has officially sprung! In this warm spring 🌃 evening's post, I'll share what I've learnt during the transitional month of August. 

1) It's okay to feel

The emotions that you feel are valid. Be it joy, sadness, pain, rejection or sorrow. Don't demonize your emotions and label them as bad or label yourself as too much. It is more than okay to feel because when you allow yourself to, you enable yourself to move on. Even though it's a process, it is a crucial first step

2) It's important to be honest with yourself

Honesty is the best policy, sound familiar? (I'll continue this series one day soon!) The truth is not always easy to hear and at times is even more difficult to accept. When you are honest with yourself, you can find a way forward, instead continuing down a path that is wrong for you because you are indenial. This new month gift yourself, the gift of honesty. 🌸

3) Keep going for your future self

August was a difficult month for me, there were a few ups and many downs and in moments like these it can be very difficult to be strong. There are times where I just wish that all the pain would go away or that I could forgo the sadness and get to the good part already. But that isn't real life, you have to go through it, to get truly over it. During times where I find it incredibly difficult to be strong, to be present, I don't! Sounds weird, right? Let me explain, instead of forcing myself to try and see things in the moment, which can be extremely painful to exist in. I think about my future self. I think about the Ruthy, that will have made to the other side. A better, stronger, wiser, kinder woman. I think about all the things that I desire, my own house, my own car, my own room! This to some may seem trival but to me, it can give a hard day purpose, knowing that one day  I will get there. I become strong knowing that my life won't feel so intense forever. 

4) Discipline truly is freedom 

I have heard this saying many times before but it truly took me awhile to fully understand what this means. To me, this means that by disciplining myself to do the things that I may not feel like doing in the present moment, I give my future self more options. By allowing myself that moment of discomfort, I am awarding my future self comfort. When I begun to see discipline in this light, it became easier to discipline myself because I know and understand that this is a form of self-love. It won't always be easy and there will be slip-ups but the courage to keep going and be consistent is what truly counts.🌱

Some inspiration from Pinterest ❤️!

I pray that September brings you a shower of blessings, remember that the best, your best is yet to come!🌸

All my love 

Ruthy❤️