About a year ago I wrote a blog post about suicide, in light of suicide prevention month on my Environmental and Political Issues Blog. I took that post down (among many others) because I just wasn't sure in which direction I wanted to go with that particular blog. Especially considering the fact that when one writes on Political matters or matters that are viewed as politically charged, thorough research must be conducted, so I became overwhelmed and I stopped writing. I reposted that particular blog post because as I was reflecting, I realized that I meant every word that I wrote.
Suicide is a touchy subject, there is no light way to go about such a heavy topic. What I do know is that it is a necessary conversation to have. Life can be overwhelming and many factors can contribute to you feeling this way. What I do want you to do is not to feel shame for feeling this way.
As a black person and a Christian, I used to feel like I should be happy and never feel these overwhelming feelings. There was always this judgement that if things are rough for you as a Child of God, then are you God's child? For me, I see it as a Job story. He was God's Beloved, God personally bragged about him and yet so much calamity came to his home. I choose to believe that God is still in control and that He will indeed give me beauty for my ashes.
The road may be hard, the nights long and pain feel undeserved but God is faithful. I firmly believe that life won't always feel this way. What I also do is journal, it's a great way to get all my feelings out and when I don't know what to write, I follow these journal prompts that I downloaded from Pinterest:
Remember that your trauma is still valid, even if it may seem small in comparison to others' suffering, even if you don't remember it well, even if you are not ready to talk about it yet. It's not always easy to unload trauma that you have tried so hard to lock away, but I believe that talking to the right professional can help. When you are ready to seek out help, please do so! A problem shared with the right person is a problem solved. Also remember that there is nothing wrong with medication and receiving help through that channel, as long as it's authorized and you are not putting your health at risk.
You have not yet experienced all the joy in your life, fulfilled all of God's promises and met all who will love you❤️! Be strong and fight the good fight 💚.
Here's the link to blog post that I posted last year:
https://zikhalir.blogspot.com/2020/09/lets-talk-world-suicide-prevention.html?m=1
I pray that something I said whether this today or last year touched you. I personally can relate but know that feelings aren't always accurate and ending your precious existence is not the answer. You were born for a reason, God allowed to exist because He planned your existence. Give it time and slowly work on yourself and your surroundings. Hope is indeed, alive🌱!
All my love 🌸
Ruthy
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