How giving up my dream enabled me to find another 🩷 part 3: There's beauty in being in-between seasons
Good morning/afternoon/evening, you beautiful people!
I had always planned for this series to be in chronological order but I write as I experience life. My written work will not always be in chronological order and that's okay!
I finished writing my last exam on Friday, the 22nd of November 2024 and while I am still in awe of God and His amazing grace and love for me, I never pictured life after college. I am a visionary, I plan ahead and I see things through, so being in between seasons is an unfamiliar feeling. I tried to run away from it but one cannot truly run away from their own feelings.
I missed last week's post and I really, truly wanted to write but I felt distraught and grieved. I love planning and knowing how things are going to go. I am the type of woman who has a 3-year plan, a 5-year plan, at least a mental one. I was so focused on staying in college and giving the last three years all that I have. Now that I am finished with my final exams and I have done all that I could do, it feels strange. I did not expect to be struck with grief and feelings of uncertainty. I will soon embark on a new journey, a new dream. A dream and a goal to be a university graduate. A dream that I have held near and dear for so long.
What I have learned and I am still learning honestly is that I am in between seasons and that's okay. I am fresh out of college and I will soon be a university student! I needed time to digest and accept my feelings without condemning myself. My three years of college have been a beautiful chapter of my life that God's grace have allowed me to experience and it's okay to miss it! What I am doing my best to do now is to find joy and solace (comfort) in the simple things. Washing dishes, sweeping the floors, playing with my family's pets, listening to music, taking a nap, having a conversation with loved ones. These tasks may seem simple, perhaps even ordinary but what I am learning is that I am still so young and I am finding myself and the woman that I want to be. In doing the simple, daily, consistent, small things, I'll get there. I won't sit agitated, wasting my holiday wandering how my results and my tomorrow will look like. I am going to live in today and take it one day at a time. I hope you do the same!
Leaving something familiar is sad and it's okay to be sad. It truly is. I feel like with the festive season comes this pressure to be happy and have fun and to not just be. I encourage you to be, as small things lead to bigger things. It's okay to take baby steps to get there, as long you don't give up and you try your best to be consistent on your journey.
We are commemorating 16 days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence. This is a topic that is so near and dear to my heart. I always feel as though I have so much to say about this because it is a complex, sensitive topic, that affects millions, if not billions of people. It's not just a one-sided topic that we hear about once a year during this time. Gender-based violence affects both genders and scars generations. My main hope in talking about it is to help alleviate the stigma, taboo and the deafening silence that enables this violation to continue as a societal norm, despite being a societal ill.
Today is also World AIDS Day. I encourage you to have fun safely. Condoms are cool, practicing safe sex methods are responsible. Mutually consented sex with someone you love and who loves you is healthy and okay with proper preventative methods. Regardless of your gender, your no is a full sentence and your right! Let's treat one another with kindness and so much love.
If you have lost someone to AIDS or HIV, I pray that God gives you peace and comfort. To all who we have lost too soon, today is a day that we commemorate these beautiful fallen angels. If you can, wear a red ribbon today!
The festive season is so blessed yet so violent, such a contradicting time. Through it all, I pray that you choose yourself over trying to blindly please others. I pray that you are safe, well and fed! I pray that we can enjoy the last month of the year, without thinking about what we wish we could change. We have done our best, may we continue to do our best and God will certainly do the rest. Whenever I feel uncertain and afraid, this is one of the scriptures that bring me peace and comfort.
All my love ♥️
Ruthy
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