This has kept me going and still does, it reminds me that I still have so much. I have power, power to change, to grow. It encourages me to be proactive and I hope that today's post will remind you that there is still hope and to never give up❣️
College has been such a whirlwind and growth spurt experience for me. I have always known that college existed but it never was an option for me. I honestly am ashamed to say that I looked down on colleges, the programmes offered and the brave students who enrolled there. Looking back I has such pride and ignorance. I was under the false narrative that college is for failures and stupid people!
It was when all other avenues had closed for me that I began to see college as a feasible option. I tried to apply to write the National Senior Certificate at age 18. I was turned around at the door and told that I was too young and I should go back to high school instead. At high school, I was told to go back to grade 10 because of the language barrier (I can only speak English and Afrikaans fluently despite being a Black South African) and the fact that the subjects that I did were not available at my local public high schools. The pain that I felt was immense! Imagine being told to back to grade 10, after having past both grades 10 and 11 and intending to move on to grade 12! It felt like a dagger had pierced my heart. The regression, the stagnation!
2021 then became my 'gap year' as it was too late in the academic year to do anything else. This was the year that completely changed my life. I had no absolute choice but to sit with myself and my demons and show up to conquer them. I began to see that my value lies far beyond my education. My value lies within my identity in Christ and my character.
2021 was a lengthy, difficult year but I finally understood what was meant with the saying, 'education is something that they can never take away from you'. That saying used to irritate the living daylights out of me because there I was at home, having had my education taken away from me. It was only when I started college that I fully understood that my education was in my heart and mind. It changes the way that I see the world. I was at Pick 'N Pay the other day and I saw a man who works for Nestlé and he was looking at how their chocolates should be packed according to a planogram. It was the most exciting thing that I have seen all year, thus far! I was fangirling so hard! Being able to see marketing as my new profession, my passion and something that sparks so much joy in my life was only made possible by my ideal avenue not working out. Giving up my dream of being a veterinarian and putting of dream off studying at university on hold has allowed me to find another.
My mother then discovered Tshwane North College through a poster while she was running errands. I found myself being excited at the idea of a second chance at life. I applied online and I decided to study marketing after looking at the brochure. I felt really drawn to it, so I took a chance and chose it. It was not an easy decision to make as my parents were not initially on board with course that I had chosen but I understood that this is my life and my diploma. Something that my 'gap year', taught me, the importance of self and the ripple effect that one decision can have years later. I am grateful to my mother for supporting me and allowing me to choose a course that I liked even though she initially wanted me to study something else. She allowed me to grow and make an adult decision.
I do not know what my final year in college has in store for me but I am fully trusting God because your girl is looking for a job! I do not know why I came to my particular college or what opportunities and lessons God has prepared to grow me but also to heal me but I am looking forward to finding out 💕.
In part 3, I'll delve more into my college journey and what going to college as a poor person was actually like and how I managed to overcome!
Question of the week: Have you ever had an experience that has forced to sit and slow down, if so what did you learn?
All my love
Ruthy❤️
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