How to avoid stress and panic while awaiting exam results
Good morning/afternoon/evening, you beautiful people!
There are 8 days left until final exam results are released and I have been plagued with worry and panic over how my final results will look like. During the festive season, it was the easiest time for me to temporarily forget about my pending results and focus on food, rest and family. Now that a new year has begun and the festivities are slowly coming to an end reality is sinking in faster than I had anticipated it would.
I lost myself in a world of panic to the point of physical chest pain. Wondering how I would do. Will my results meet my own hopes and expectations? Will those who have supported and loved me be proud of me on January 13th 2025? The questions, the concerns racing in my mind were endless.
I read a letter that I had written to myself 3 months ago, before I even wrote my final exams. In my letter to myself, I was so positive and full of faith. Faith in God and the fact that those who put their trust in Him will never be put to shame. Trust in myself, to see my exams through and study my hardest. I admire that woman because where is that faith now? Why can't my now mustard seed faith be enough to prevent me from spiralling and my heart from racing?
I then realized that what I am feeling is completely normal. I am afraid because I have never done this before and I want to do it well. I am afraid because I care, I am invested and 100% plugged in. I am afraid because I gave it my all and I hope and pray that it will be enough.
What I cannot do with the 8 days left is cripple myself in fear and anxiety over what I cannot change and have no power over. For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of love, a sound mind and of self-discipline.
What I reflect on that gives me comfort and helps me to exercise patience is thinking about two things. Firstly, a memory from my 2024 academic year that I am proud of. (what are you proud of/for?)
Writing my final exams was tremendously difficult for me. Mentally I was fighting every day. I was fighting with thoughts in my head. Thoughts that I should stop revising, stop my studies completely. I knew that these thoughts were not my own because I know how determined and studious I am as a person. I see things through and I am not a quitter, I preserve. These characteristics were being put to the test. They were being refined to see if they could come out as gold and truly be ingrained within my character. I prayed so much and I became addicted to Coca-Cola during November 2024 because I knew that I didn't come this far, only to come this far. Almost doesn't count unfortunately. What kept me fighting was that I owed it to myself to see it all through. To see all the three years through and let God do what only He can do, as only He can do it. Trust that God will not fail you because you did not fail yourself by showing up and finishing your course regardless of your mental state or home environment. I am so proud of you for grabbing this opportunity and not letting it go. Sit in that pride, this alone is a huge achievement!
A secondary motivation that kept me going was knowing that I would not be able to look my senior lecturer, my father figure in the eye and say that I gave up on myself, as I was well aware that it would not just be myself that I was giving up on. I thought of my siblings and how much they look up to me. I couldn't bear for them to see me give up. They had to see me giving it my all because I know from experience that those who look up to you do as you do and not as you say. I knew that my actions needed to instruct, inspire and provide hope not destruct, destroy and depress those who I love.
Secondly, I reflected on why I began my college journey in the first place. (why did you decide to finish school, what does it mean to you?)
I thought of 19 year old Ruthy, 9 year old Ruthy and how proud she would be to see and know that through it all I never gave up on her! Pushing through in spite of derogatory commentary and disrespect for “writing grade 12 in 3 years instead of 1”, doubt, fear, problems, etc. Yet, here I stand for the Glory of God and here you stand too!
It doesn't matter how broken, fragile or afraid you may feel, you preserved with great courage. The waiting season is a sign of the harvest season to come and instead of anxiously awaiting for what that may yield. Reflect on how hard you toiled to plant these seeds. How relentlessly and bravely you embraced your future and the hope for a better life.
It's okay to look backward and admire the long way that you have come. Do not let pressure and fear take away from the beauty that is the present and reflection. You would not be awaiting a harvest, if you had not planted anything. Leave the 13th of January 2025, in the Hands of God and fate, there is nothing more that you can do to change your efforts during the planting season.
Be proud of yourself and look back on your favourite moments with fondness and great pride. You are South Africa's future and that has nothing to do with your results on the 13th!🇿🇦 Your courage, perspective, persistence and hard work are all great qualities of a future that we need. Do not allow yourself to carry the burdens of the future. Celebrate your life, yourself and your courageous efforts. Leave the rest in the future where it belongs.
I love you all so dearly and I am praying that we make it through this week with pride, gratitude, patience and even joy!
Here are some contacts that may help:❤️
“A problem shared (with the right person) is a problem solved”.
(0861) 322 322
24-hour crisis intervention service.
Adcock Ingram Depression and Anxiety Helpline
(0800) 70 80 90
Adcock Ingram is a leading South African pharmaceutical manufacturer sponsoring a support line to provide immediate help for people suffering from anxiety and other mental health issues.
South African Depression & Anxiety Group -SADAG
(0800) 12 13 14
SADAG is Africa’s largest mental health support and advocacy group.
All my love ❤️
Ruthy
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