Dear Fatherless Daughter/Son❤️ part 3

Good morning/afternoon/evening, you beautiful people! 

It is a fine Monday afternoon as I writing to you. This series is so near and dear to my heart because I feel that so often we bear the scars of having emotionally unbalanced and abusive parents and we go through life feeling like such a burden for having being told too much and not given a proper opportunity to be young, innocent and without a care in the world. 

I know this feeling all too well and I know that it's so easy to get caught up in the worry and fatigue of carrying burdens that were never yours to carry. I found myself incredibly sick as in bedridden, popping pills and nursing aches that for someone of my age is incredibly alarming. This was such a wake up call for me because I realized that I was carry burdens that were not mine. Instead looking at myself, mentally I was everywhere but present with myself. 

I truly believe that sometimes what doesn't kill you, leaves you mentally ill, we don't talk about this enough. 

This was partially what inspired today's post as I pondered on what I meant by writing this and how I wished to expand on this topic for dearest readers.

I really want to emphasise the debilitating effect that pressure and trauma have on the human mind and body. It can quite literally paralyse and kill you. 

I want you to know and understand that it's not wrong or selfish to choose yourself, in fact it's the right thing to do. 

As I lay on the floor of the apartment that I have just moved into, I think about my life and how I wish to move forward. I think about the fact that I have more time on my hands. With that time. I am going to commit to learning to choose myself and I wish for you to do the same. 

Your father's issues don't define you, they never have and never will. While navigating your way as you choose to heal, remember that it's okay to feel. Be it empathy, sorrow or rage but remember to choose yourself first. Choose yourself over wanting someone else to choose you. 

Take care, my friends, winter has shown up early this year and it is extremely cold. ❣️

All my love 

Ruthy❤️